I ate my way through Long Beach and I have the ketchup stains to prove it. This city does not do boring burgers, from storm-worthy double smashes in a drive-thru to refined patties tucked into a tasting menu that costs more than my car insurance.

You might say I’m a professional glutton. I reviewed the lot, from the beachfront shack on the bay where the Ozzy Osbourne burger rocks to the plant-based spot near the aquarium that converted my skepticism.

Here’s where to find a truly great patty in the LBC.

Grill 'Em All

Highlights
Beachfront burger shack vibes
Ozzy Osbourne burger rocks
Loaded fries worth sharing
Staff welcomes first-timers warmly
Second-level bay views

Grill 'Em All sits right on the bay, and the beachfront shack vibe does half the work. I ordered the Ozzy Osbourne burger. It rocks. Loud, messy, unapologetic. The loaded fries are worth sharing, but I won't. Staff welcomed me like a first-timer who clearly needed guidance. They were right. I grabbed a second-level seat for the view. The burger held up. The view did too. I left with ketchup on my shirt and no regrets.

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The Ordinarie Tavern

Highlights
Tavern burger with pickled jalapeños
Homemade ketchup and ranch
Friendly bartender service
Cool Olympic-watching atmosphere
Worth a return visit

The Ordinarie Tavern surprised me. I came for a drink during the Olympics, stayed for the tavern burger. Pickled jalapeños cut through the fat. Homemade ketchup and ranch made me question every bottle in my fridge. The bartender was friendly and poured generously. The room buzzed with collective sports anxiety. My burger arrived warm, not rushed. I ate slowly. I will return. Probably for the burger again. Maybe for the company.

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Sonoratown

Highlights
Burritos steal the show
Fresh, homemade-style ingredients
Friendly, helpful staff
Easy free parking nearby
Great location near aquarium

Sonoratown is a tortilla temple. I came for a burger, but the burritos stole the show. Everything tasted fresh, homemade, like someone's abuela was back there. The staff was friendly, eager to explain the menu and make recommendations. Free parking nearby is a unicorn in Long Beach. And the location near the aquarium means you can walk off the calories. I ate a burrito and a burger. I was ambitious. Then I sat on a bench and wondered why.

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Chez Bacchus

Highlights
Elegant yet welcoming atmosphere
Tea hat rack adds charm
Extensive loose leaf tea selection
Beautifully presented tea tower
Perfect for special occasions

Chez Bacchus is elegant, but not stuffy. The tea hat rack adds quirk. I felt underdressed, but they welcomed me anyway. The loose leaf tea selection is extensive. I chose something floral and watched the steam rise. The tea tower arrived, beautifully presented. Tiny sandwiches, scones, sweets. It felt like a special occasion, even though it was Tuesday. I sipped slowly. I nibbled deliberately. I forgot about the burger I was supposed to review. No regrets.

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StormBurger

Highlights
Jalapeño lightning burger is superb
Double smash beats In-N-Out
Crispy beer-battered fries
Thunder sauce balances sweet heat
Friendly staff, quick drive-thru

StormBurger beat In-N-Out. I said it. The double smash is superior, with crispy edges and a soft bun. The jalapeño lightning burger is superb, spicy and bright. Thunder sauce balances sweet heat with a steady hand. The beer-battered fries are crunchy, salty, and dangerous. I went through the drive-thru and got friendly service fast. I ate in my car. I used too many napkins. I'd do it again tomorrow. Maybe today.

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Gallagher's Pub & Grill

Highlights
Best fish and chips
All-you-can-eat Fridays
Buy one, get one drinks
Fresh, ample portions

Gallagher's Pub & Grill does fish and chips better than any burger I tried. That's not an insult. The portions are generous. The batter is fresh and crisp. All-you-can-eat Fridays? I didn't go. I'm not brave enough. But the buy-one-get-one drinks tempted me. I had a burger too, just to be professional. It was fine. But the fish. The fish was the star. I left full, slightly buzzed, and grateful for the walk home.

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Higher Taste, Plant-Based

Highlights
Plant-based soul food, fresh
Made-from-scratch menu items
Friendly staff, eager help
Worth the patient wait
Acai bowls with personality

Higher Taste is plant-based soul food. I was skeptical. I left converted. The made-from-scratch menu items taste like labor and love. The staff is eager to help, even when the place is packed. I waited patiently for my food. It was worth it. My burger had a house-made patty that didn't pretend to be meat. It just tasted good. The acai bowls have personality. I had one after. I felt virtuous. Then I got more fries.

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Bites

Highlights
Perfect service, good food
Quick bite, solid chicken panini

Bites is a small place with a big name. The service was perfect, attentive but not hovering. I ordered the chicken panini, which was a good choice. It was solid, satisfying, and quick. The burger? I didn't try it. I was too busy with the panini. I'll go back. I'll be more adventurous. But for a quick bite, this place hits the mark. No fuss. No drama. Just food and speed.

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Ellie's

Highlights
Tasting menu shines
Great holiday service
Pleasant dining atmosphere
Quality ingredient execution

Ellie's tasting menu is a performance. Each course arrived with quiet precision. The service on my holiday visit was impeccable. The dining room felt pleasant, warm without being stuffy. They executed every ingredient with care. I had a burger course, tucked between other plates. It was refined. Almost too refined. But it worked. I left satisfied, full in a way that felt earned. I'm not sure I could handle it weekly. But for a special night, it delivers.

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OMG Burgers and More

Highlights
Best vegan burger in town
Generous, juicy, flavorful patties
Fast, kind window service
Ice cream worth the visit
Birthday treatment felt special

OMG Burgers and More has the best vegan burger in town. That's a bold claim. I'll stand by it. The patty is generous, juicy, and full of flavor. The window service was fast and kind. I got a birthday treatment that felt genuinely special. The staff remembered my name. The ice cream is worth a visit alone. I had a burger, then ice cream, then another burger. I'm not proud. But I am full.

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The Melt

Highlights
Juicy burgers, craft sodas
Heavenly malted shakes
Friendly, informative service
Clean, welcoming atmosphere
Gooey, perfect mac and cheese

The Melt does not mess around. Juicy burgers, yes. But the malted shakes are heavenly. I tried the mac and cheese, gooey and perfect, and felt my arteries file a complaint. Service was friendly and informative, like they actually wanted me to enjoy myself. The place is clean and welcoming, which matters more than I like to admit. I ordered a craft soda and felt fancy. Then I ordered another. Then I wobbled out.

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The Stand - American Classics Redefined

Highlights
Quick, reliable, satisfying bites
Crispy onion rings done right
House-made sauces and pickles
Big menu, many reasons to return

The Stand redefines American classics, and I appreciate the audacity. Quick, reliable, satisfying. My onion rings were crisp, not greasy, and the house-made sauces and pickles added a punch. The menu is huge, which makes decision-making a hazard. But that just gives me reasons to return. I tried a burger. It was solid. Nothing fancy, just honest. I left full and a little smug. That's the feeling I chase. That's the burger.

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